I once completed the trail having survived three broken wagon wheels. It took me 10 days to find an Indian to trade with for the third wheel, and I still scored 6,000 points. The other day, I saw you quit the trail immediately after your wagon capsized in the Kansas River. You lost only an ox and a hundred pounds of food. I drank myself to sleep that night.
Speaking of food, it almost seems like you don't even like to hunt. When you do, you fire randomly at anything that moves. Let me make it simple for you, son: a bullet costs 10 cents, a pound of food costs 20 cents. If you're not averaging a half pound of food per bullet, you're wasting points. So I hope it was fun firing 10 times at that squirrel, which, I feel obligated to add, you never actually hit.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
oregon trail!
did you ever play oregon trail? i used to play it all the time as a kid and this imagined monologue from mcsweeney's is hilarious :) you may not appreciated if you didn't play the game, but here's an excerpt from the monologue titled 'No Son of Mine Plays Oregon Trail Like That.':
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2 comments:
hahahaha....I loved oregon trail, but don't recall feeling that passionate about my results. It was mostly just the best way to kill time in 7th-grade computer class.
Would this dad be upset if his kid hit the squirrel, was he planning to consume it?
see, this bullet waster would have been one of the "middle states" creators... refer back to my theory... ;) hahahah
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